Not Made of Steel
by Sweet Mystic
Summary: A songfic. Harry, Lupin, and Snape all have something in common. This is my very first fanfic, so please R&R!


  
This is a songfic for the tune I'm Not Made of Steel by Michael Bolton. Please let me know what you think of it. Thanks!  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I did not invent any of these characters, but that's obvious.  
  
  
  
  
_Under the endless sky  
Beneath a million stars  
Within the course of a lifetime  
How very young we are  
_

  


Harry Potter lay in his narrow bed in the Dursley home at Number Four, Privet Drive. It was very late at night. Harry was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and yet he could not sleep. He knew he would only dream of Sirius, his dearly loved godfather, who had died only two months earlier. He missed Sirius more than words could say. He ached so terribly to talk with him, to be with him. Sirius had been the only person Harry could genuinely relate to, even though he did have other very good friends in the wizarding world whom he was eminently grateful for. He loved his friends and knew that he was deeply loved and cared for by them, but that didn't keep him from feeling isolated from the rest of humanity. A prophecy had been made a short time prior to his birth, a prophecy stating that he, only he, Harry James Potter, had the power to defeat the malevolent Dark Lord, Voldemort. Though he had done this before, once at the tender age of one, the thought still stung him.  
  
_As I stumble on this journey  
Along the road to what is real  
I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of steel  
_

  


Remus Lupin sat in the Drawing Room of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. This was the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. It had also belonged to Sirius Black, Remus' best friend. Remus was horribly aggrieved at the loss of his dear friend. He was now the last Marauder. He could fondly remember happier times, in his Hogwarts days, when he, Sirius, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew would run amok about the school, having fun and causing impish trouble, without a care in the world. He wished, with all his heart and soul, that he could return to those days. Now, both James and Sirius had died, and Peter had joined the Dark side and become Voldemort's right hand man. Remus missed all of them, including Peter.  
  
_With all the lessons of my learning  
All the strength that I possess  
Still there are mountains I wish I was moving  
That take much more than my best  
_

  


Severus Snape sat alone in his office, staring blankly at the fireplace. Tomorrow, he would be teaching Potions to the Hogwarts students, as he had been denied the Defense Against the Dark Arts job yet again. He couldn't see the reason why. He had been a Death Eater himself and so knew more about the Dark Arts than any other Hogwarts professor. But this was not the only thing on his troubled mind. The Dark Lord had returned to power, and the Order of the Phoenix, to which Severus belonged, was active again. He was amazed that Dumbledore trusted him enough to allow him toa take part in such a thing. No one else did, that was for sure, And, truthfully, Severus couldn't blame them. He had indeed supported Voldemort. And, even long after he had rejoined the good side, he had not behaved like a trustworthy man. he was cruel and unfair to his students, especially the Gryffindors, and was very unpleasant to most everyone else he came into contact with. He hated being the way he was, but he didn't know how to behave in any other way.  
  
_There are plans beyond my power  
There are dreams beyond my reach..._  


  


As Harry lay there, he thought of Hogwarts and what the coming school year might have in store for him. Although he greatly missed the school and his friends, he dreaded going back. He didn't know how he could possibly face the wizarding world again. He was scared. He couldn't imagine how in the world he could possibly go on without Sirius. In the midst of his thoughts, he heard the faint sounds of his ill-natured relatives grunting and moving in their sleep. If they only knew of the pain, fear, and grief that overtook their nephew. But Harry would never let them know. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing that he was hurting. But, for now, he was alone, and could express himself in any way he wished. He rolled over onto his stomach and sobbed into his pillow.  
  
_Oh these eyes deceive the words I speak  
Don't tell the story inside  
So don't believe the face you see  
It's only the face of my pride  
_

  


Remus tried not to think of his lost friend any more, but it was no use. What would life be like now that Sirius was gone? And, now that Voldemort was back, who would be next? Would it be Tonks? Molly? Arthur? Or, perhaps, Remus himself? No', he thought. I must look after Harry.' Remus felt hot tears burning his eyes as he thought of the boy. Poor Harry had been forced to grow up before his time, and had so much responsibility put upon him. And, to top it all, he had lost the parental figure in his life. I can't fall apart now,' he thought firmly. I must be strong for the Order, and, more importantly, for Harry.'  
  
_I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of stone  
I can't be anything more that I'm made of  
I can't do it all on my own_  


  


Severus had begun pacing around his office. He was thinking about how much he regretted his days as a Death Eater and how he wished he could change the past. In honest truth, he had joined the Dark side merely because he wished to feel as though he belonged. Yet he had taken part in the torture of countless innocent people and witnessed many murders. Was this belonging and feeling of acceptance really worth that? Yes,' he shamefully admitted to himself. He had been very unpopular his entire life. He had no fond memories of childhood. During his days as a Hogwarts student, he had initially tried to befriend James Potter and his little gang of loyal friends, but had been rejected. James had taunted and bullied him, to the amusement of most other students. Even though many years had since gone by, it still hurt just as much today as it had then. Now Harry Potter, James' son, was attending the school and Severus was determined to be as cruel and nasty as possible to him. But deep down, Severus really didn't hate the boy. He was jealous. Harry had everything Severus had ever wanted. He was popular, did well in school with the exception of Potions, and, though he had lost his parents and, just recently, his godfather, he still had plenty of people who cared about him. Severus had no one, except maybe Dumbledore. Even after what he has done, Dumbledore had completely forgiven and trusted Severus.   
God that's amazing He said to himself as he allowed tears to stream down his face.  
  
_I'm only a man  
Flesh and blood is all I am  
You think I can carry the world on my shoulders  
That don't mean that I can  
I can bend I can break I can feel  
I'm not made of steel  
_

  


Harry slowly lifted his body off of the bed and walked over to his window, his eyes and face still wet. As he looked up at the sky, he noticed a strikingly bright star. He had never seen a star so radiant, even in his Astronomy class. It seemed to get larger and brighter with every passing second. As he gazed at the beautiful star, he found that his spirits had lifted and wondered if it was a sign that Sirius was watching over him from wherever he was.  
  
_They teach you well to wear your armor  
But what you've learned is just a lie  
There's a price to be paid for denying  
With every tear you never cry  
_

  


Remus' thoughts were broken by a light at the window he saw from the corner of his eye. Curious, he went to the window and immediately noticed a beautiful, stunningly bright star. As he fixed his eyes intently upon it, he was flooded with happy memories of Sirius, Lily, and James. However, this did not sadden him. Rather, he found that for the first time in months, he felt peaceful. He knew that wherever his friends were, they were happy and free.  
  
_Don't ever show, don't let them know  
The heart you never reveal  
Don't ask me why, don't make me hide  
The pain you don't think I can feel  
_

  


As Severus passed the small window of his office, he noticed a flash of light. He stopped to look through the window, and was startled by the most brilliant star he had ever seen. As he locked his eyes on it, he was filled with a feeling of serenity. Somehow he knew he had been forgiven of all his evil deeds of the past and present. The thought struck him that he should be kinder to his students, especially Harry Potter. That would be difficult, but he was willing to try. As he continued to view the breathtakingly beautiful star, he wondered if there were others in the world who could understand and relate to him.  
  
_I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of stone  
I can't be anything more than I'm made of  
I can't do it all on my own  
_

  


September First had come, and Remus came to Privet Drive to get Harry. Terrified, Dudley retreated to his bedroom to hide. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon scowled and muttered disapprovingly, but Harry was too pleased to see Remus to notice.   
Professor Lupin! Harry exclaimed, louder than he meant to.  
Hello, Harry! Remus said cheerfully as he hugged the boy. Please call me Remus, as I am no longer your teacher.  
Er- okay, Remus, Harry replied. Why are you here so early?  
We have to go to Headquarters first for a brief meeting.  
Harry winced. He wasn't sure how he felt about going back to that house. But after reminding himself of the star he had seen the previous night, he felt much better.  
  
_Oh don't believe the face you see  
It's only the face of my pride  
_

  


When the two of them arrived at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, Remus knocked at the door, which was answered by none other than Severus Snape. To the great surprise of both Remus and Harry, he was not wearing his usual nasty grimace.  
Hello, Potter, Lupin, He said rather politely as he let them inside.  
The meeting was indeed very brief. Apparently, Dumbledore had only wanted to be certain that everyone was prepared for whatever might occur in the coming months.  
Well, Harry, I guess we'd better be going, Remus said quickly. As Harry followed him to the door, he felt a hand grip his shoulder. He turned around to see Snape looking at him.  
Have a good trip, Potter. I will see you at school. He smiled weakly when he saw Harry's shocked expression. He locked eyes with Remus and smiled at him as well.  
  
_I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of stone  
I can't be anything more than I'm made of  
I can't do it all on my own  
_

  


Well, Harry, off you go, Remus shouted over the noise at the train station. You'll see me as often as possible, I promise.  
Goodbye, Remus! Harry shouted back. He then ran through the wall onto platform nine and three quarters. he had no way of knowing what would take place in the coming school year, but, as he had thought two years earlier when Lord Voldemort first returned to power, what would come would come, and he would have to be prepared when it did.  
  
_I'm only a man  
Flesh and blood is all I am  
You think I can carry the world on my shoulders  
That don't mean that I can  
I can bend I can break I can feel  
I'm not made of steel  
I'm not made of steel  
_

  
  
  
  
  


So what do you think? Please give me any suggestions on how I could improve or anything I might change!_  
_  
  
  


  
  



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